hide.

This feeling is all I can feel
There so much I know it has to be real
I can hear them laughing when I turn my back
I know it's me their laughing at
So many laugh and it's plain to see
They're not at fault, there's something wrong with me

This anger won't quit
It's for their kind and I know it
They've ruined my life, and one day they'll have to pay
Till then I must lie in wait
While they laugh and tease and alienate
They are not aware of the hate they create

I can feel it growing it inside my heart
And I know that hate sets me apart
Some say bullies are misunderstood
And that deep down people are 'good'
But I know it's a lie I know it's not true
and I know that childlike innocence dies when everyone laughs at you


I was just six when it all started
I was just a child when my heart parted
Into the sweet little girl that loved and obeyed
And the hurt, angry and screaming victim that bullies create

NESALINEE read this please...

"hey....wake up......wake up....your already late.......WAKE UP"

someones screaming at me.....

"WAKE UP"

ugh....go away.......

"WAKE UP ALREADY"

my mother?

"QUICKLY!!!!! i've got an exam this morning!"

my sister.....great (sarcasm)......

i drag my body out of bed...limp...limp...limp... i see the bathroom now....huh....i didnt sleep well last night. whatever. to troublesome worrying about it now anyway. i looked at myself in the mirror. i hate the way i look.

i walked back to my room slowly, limping alot. changed into the weird looking government uniform and took all my school things. walked down the stairs.....limp...limp...limp.

entered the car. traffic's bad. fantastic. mum's complaining about the driver's bad driving.....great. just what i need in the morning. " da...dammm.da...." i hate this song. it ticks me off......the melody is awful.....huh...headache..

im at school now. its late. IM late. my sister ran out. i slowly get out of the car. whats the point of running we're already late. i enter the school and get to class.
im late for 1st period. great. it was raining outside...its cold. my hands are frozen from walking up here...

---^---^---^---^---^---^^^^^----^^^^^^----^^^^^^^----^

IT HURTS.....my heart hurts....

STOP

okay im fine now.

^^^^^^^

my hand hurts.

"whats wrong?"

"nothing"

"you sure? you look pale today. you okay?"

"i told you, im fine"

". . ."

"my hand just hurts a little thats all"

"oh... *smile*. im glad then"

"YOU....your evil"

she laughs at me. her hair, her smile, her. she has it all yet she doesnt believe me when i tell her. humble. thats also another good characteristic. when she smiles her true smile (which normally comes with laughter) her face has a calm yet passionate shape. her eyes hinge up to make a gentle smile. her smile, a big grin. her eyelashes brush her cheeks. her hair, in 3 different locks. i can remember all this because.......well its because shes special....

but....

shes in pain. she tells me shes dying everyday. doesnt she realize im already dead? does she realize im a curved mirror reflecting her? reflecting the opposite. or does she think im a reflection of her? a painting. unable to move or act. i wish....i wish....i WOULD... i would help her.but.... i cant even help myself. shes dying but im already dead.

does she realize, two graves have already been dug?

to those of you who dont understand the story (which i guarantee will be ALOT) this is, in short, what im trying to say. nesa, you are my best friend. you are the best best friend ever born. im sorry if i made you sad or anything. i promise, that no matter what happens, ill try, to finish all our troubles together. we are in this life together. i got your back, buddy!

ALSO,I AND/OR NESALINEE ARE NOT LESBIAN IN ANYWAY. WE ARE ONLY BEST FRIENDS AND NOTHING ELSE. NO LESBIAN MATERIAL INTENDED. thank you! :)

a bird in a cage

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

im in love with a murder

realize.
realize how i hate you.
realize how i love you.
realize how much will power it toke me.
to say those 3 words.

im regret saying those 3 words. but you dont know that.
i hurt. you hurt.
but time has passed.
and you have healed.
and i am still broken.

i remain that way for so long.
because time is longer when your in pain.
i said what i didnt mean.
i wrote what i didnt mean.
you saw what i didnt mean.

and you believed.

i cut my tongue.
you wont see the mark or pain.
i hid it.
but i bleeds.
everytime you look at me.
it doesnt hurt.
but now everything i eat is...

tasteless....

i said those 3 words when what i meant to say is...
i love you.

im sorry.

i dont hate you at all.
i hate myself.
for loving you.
but ill heal.
when you go to hell.

*this is NOT copyrighted.*

black eyed peas

obsessed

im not perasan i just like this song so im gonna post this for fun. but its not emo.
*sob*

I was like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
Will the real MC please, step to the mike?

So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
All up in the blogs
Saying we met at the bar
When I don't even know who you are
Saying we up in your house
Saying I'm up in your car
But you in LA and I'm out at Jermaine's.
I'm up in the A
You so so lame
and no one here even mentions your name
It must be the weed. It must be the E
Cause you be popping hood
You get it popping, Oh

Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know)
Lying that you're sexing me (when everybody knows)
It's clear that you're upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this
You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy you're losing your mind
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?

MIA!

LOL LOL LOL! mia! mia! mia! PLEASE go to this web site! LOL!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/424325

it is SUPER FUNNEH! PLEASE GO CHECK IT OUT!

mia, nesa, fazlul (READ THIS)

huh....tomoroe i will have to drag myself out of bed (again) and dress up in the world's most hideous uniform ever (again) and fight with the rush of everyday life and pretend to be happy and energetic.....

that is until i see them....then i can become myself (again) lazy, tired and sloopy but never the less still smiling. this time with real happy-ness you can see the truth in my eyes. all sorrow breaks lose cause i see them...my best friends.

i will run to them as SLOW as possible to get a top view of my life savers. then (i bet) nesa will smile with ever lasting happy-ness and suddently the room seems brighter, fazlul will smile her usual side smile and scream because of the stress of the up coming projek...and my favourite for last...mia will set the laughter on with her humor (mostly swearing) and i bet i WILL laugh. suddently, everything just seems better.
thank you, mia, nesa and fazlul. I LOVE YOU (as friends) sorry i meant (as BEST FRIENDS)

for you

I HATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME
THE PAIN YOU MADE ME FEEL
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SIMPLY SEE?
THAT ALL OF THIS IS REAL
BETRAYL, TORMENT I MUST ABIDE
YOUR RULES LIVE THROUGHOUT MY VEINS
THESE LAWS WILL END ONCE YOU HAVE DIED
AND I WILL BE RID OF ALL THIS PAIN
I CAN'T BELIVE I USED TO LOVE YOU
THAT AT ONE POINT I ACTUALLY CARED
NOW ALL THESE EMOTIONS AND GONE AND FLEW
TO THE PLACE THAT WE HAVE DARED
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?
YOU RAN AWAY WITH MY PRIDE
WHY CAN'T WE JUST AGREE?
FOR NOW MY SOUL HAS DIED
I'LL COME BACK
MY PRIDE WILL JOIN ME TOO
I MUST MAKE MY FINAL ATTACK
THE ONE WITHOUT PRIDE IS YOU
HAVE YOU NO SHAME FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
THESE WOUNDS WILL NEVER HEAL
DID YOU THINK IT WAS ALL FOR FUN?
WITH HATE THESE WOUNDS WILL SEAL
LOOK AT ME
MAKE SURE THIS IS FOR REAL
FOR ONCE I'M GONE YOU SEE...
YOU FATE WILL BE SEALED
YOU RIPPED OUT MY HEART
YOU JACKED MY PRIDE
A MIRACULOUS FORM OF YOUR DEADLY ART
THESE DEEDS YOU'VE DONE WILL ALL COLLIDE
AND FROM THIS MOMENT ON
YOU WILL BE DRASTICALLY FACED
WITH THE FACT THAT I'M GONE?
OR SIMPLY MISPLACED
BUT THERE IS ONE THING I KNOW
ONE THING THAT IS CERTAIN
THAT THIS IS MY SHOW
FOR YOU I'VE CLOSED THE CURTAIN
YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT
FOR I WILL AVENGE MYSELF
THE POUNDING SILENCE WILL BRING YOU DEFT
YOUR WEAKNESSES I WILL FIND WITH STEALTH
THEN START LAUGHING AT YOU
WHILE YOU BURN IN HELL
ARE THESE WORDS, ARE THEY TRUE?
OR SIMPLY THE WORDS OF A GIRL WHO HAS FELL
THESE STATEMENTS OF HATE
FLY LIKE A DOVE
PERHAPS ITS TOO LATE?
TO SAY YOUR THE ONE I LOVE

link~!

hey there, this is accually a message to my besties, mia, fazlul and nesa!
i was just cheacking out deviantart when i found some really cool flashs and these 3 flashs remind me of you guys! please check them out! I MISS YOU GUYS! ♥

mia;
http://artbit.deviantart.com/art/A-Short-Story-About-Love-40090777

its an emo story, i thought you might like it. its the emo-est!

nesa;
http://nch85.deviantart.com/art/4-friends-and-a-fly-7141619

its a story about a fly! its really really funny! WATCH IT!

fazlul;
http://arechan.deviantart.com/art/waffle-51254862

the begining is kinda boring but the ending is hilarious! check it out! i bet you'll love it...the name of it is waffle

my twbute to my very best friends! ♥

this is a tribute to my most funniest bestie in the world who ALWAYS manages to make me laugh;
mia ♥



this is also for mia. I COULDNT RESIST! ♥ ♥ ♥



this is for my almost TOO honest bestie and the person who sits next to me in class;
nesalinee ♥



to my very truthful friend who has always manage to ejek me and still look good;
fazlul ♥

WARNING: you people who are NOT mia, nesa or fazlul may NOT understand why i put up these special pictures. so....go figure. also, TO mia fazlul and nesa, please dont take the placing of you names seriously cos i love you all the same (not lesbian)! I MISS YOU! ♥

whats inside

something so bold....



is so weak...

*emo*

skats

i guess mia is right, cats are KINDA cute.

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

food! UM!

window from hope....

why cant you see me?

the perfect stranger

Turn Around
Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection
I can't speak
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection
Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are

You call me a stranger
You say I'm a danger
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
You are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight

I'm confident
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
And I knew just what we'd turn into
I was hopeing that you could see
Take a look at me so you can see

TO: my best friend, nesa, you are my perfect stranger.

goldfish

something that seems so beautiful could be so fragile...

weird

family get together

SO CUTE!

tea.

my sis, my mum and me with tea. YUM!

LEAVE ME ALONE, STALKER!

okay people, i want to get some things straight. some crazy *bad words* just hacked my account and post some shitty *more bad words* post that is NOT TRUE! (i deleted it already)i dont eff-ing care what that moron thinks and yeah i know who he is and NO i dont like him. in fact I REALY DISLIKE HIM!(diorene says its a sin to say hate towards a person so i shall use the word "dislike" instead cos diorene told me its better)he keeps stalking me with all his stupid phone calls and text messages! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU STALKER! and yeah im very 100% sure who the person is. CANT YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP POSTING EFF-ING STUFF ON MY BLOG! GO GET YOUR OWN BLOG! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DESPISE YOU! mia, nesa and fazlul please online tonight i have to talk to chu about this problem. please, online. im missin you guys already!

the natural love story

today, as the gentle breeze raced through my garden and into the living room till the first chair among others at the dining table.the chair i would always sit on. my chair. i watched from the sliding door as the breeze ran though the leaves of a particular tree outside. it was so calming. calming enough to touch my soul. the leaves rattled around themselves making a soft calming twine between souls as the breeze cut though them. i smiled weekly at the sight of it. suddenly, almost immediately, it stopped. all the leaves, the stem and my soul stopped... without warning...it didn't move after that. not at all...it almost seem like the breeze cut right through it leaving it dead on the ground. it looked lifeless and almost dead. i felt a jolt of sadness run through me. it reminded me of an impossible thinking we humans call, love... you fall so in love then...without warning it stops. you would either be the breeze or the leaves. i obviously was the leaves. left dead, alone without anyone. sad. alone. cold. while i die slowly here, in pain, you move on without noticing my pain. without caring...like the breeze.i signed....though sadness filled me at that moment my charcoal eyes stay dry. not bleeding with tear drops for i act strong.i sign again. "are you listening?" a honey voice calls out. "huh...ah..yes..." i answer in sober. "good. so....." my mother's honey voice continued. i tried to concentrate but i was constantly being distracted by the thought of you...i sign once more. i look down in sadness...suddenly, from the edge of my ear i could hear a soft rattle. i faced upwards. and there it was....joy overwhelmed me. the leaves of the tree were rattling once more. this time without help. without the breeze....

do you get it? do you understand? *comment* rate* etc.*

twilite is a GREAT BOOK!

this is suppose to be edward cullen from twilight (applause) but i think he looks more like sasori from naruto shippuden either way, THEY ARE SUPER CUTE, dont cha think?

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is hot like WOW

The way you walked in
I saw you standing there
You caught me staring at you
Hot Like Wow

You came a little closer
You know you make me blush
You got a body that is
Hot Like Wow

And all my friends they tell me
You know they think I'm crazy
The things you've got me doing
Hot Like Wow

They say they don't believe me
But I know they're just jealous
The freaky things you do are
Hot Like Wow

HOT LIKE WOW! (stroll down READ everything and you'll know why i put this!) taggy waggy

okay so heres, the taggies;
RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, mp3 player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
you're a god? (LOL-ing!! i love this song!!!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
behind blue eyes (emo...)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
pictures of you (SOBBING)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
UP! THE SATURDAYS! YEAH!

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Sexyback, naruto version? LOL LOL LOL!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
addicted? WEIRD!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
thunder? LOL! true!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
bringin sasuke back? o.O this is freakin me out!

WHAT IS 2+2?
colours? YAY! *dances*

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
nesalinee is....IN THE SHADOWS?! i didnt know nesalinee was emo?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
obvious.....*blush*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
how to save a life? WOW! how perfect.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
in the shadows, shikamaru version. (GREAT now im a emo bum. wait...I AM A EMO BUM!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
SOS! this wan also fits perfectly!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Gangsta! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
soul eater theme song smash version???? doesnt make sense!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
taking back my love? okaaaay?

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/Interest?
maneater...LOL! so not true!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
danjo?????? LOL LOL! i CANNOT imagine mia, fazlul and nesa dancing to danjo!!!!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
phenomenon

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
teenage dirtbag....OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY??

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Apologize. fits!

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
stuck! great song!

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
get another boyfriend. 0.o MAY BE I WILL!! if i had one....well...DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
love, sex and magic? OMG! THAT IS GROSSS!!!!!!!!!

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
mauve-ino no sympathy

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
battlefield. my life IS a battlefield!

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
untouched. DONT TOUCH ME!

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
boys, boys, boys. true. LOL! JK

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Hot like WOW! may be i will post this as it!

okay i tag....
1. nesalinee! (no DUH!)
2. fazlul (hello =D)
3. mia (twilight! i bought the book. i hope you dont think im copying you. please dont think that. and btw, I LOVE IT! so on monday, if i ignor all you guys and focus on my book, dont blame me!THE BOOK SPREE IS ON!!!! ps; I MISSIN YOU! and edward must be hot or somthing cos bella is SO attached to him! GOD! using beautiful for a guy is kinda...weird. let me know when your onlining, count me in, kay? thanks!!!)
4. huff...that was A LONG ONE! anyway, i pick....CHERMAINE TAN!
5. i would pick charmaine hee too but she already done it so i pick...JACK!!! have fun doing it and i hope your feeling better!
6. ADRIAN! DOUBLE DUH!
7. diorene (even if she doesnt do it i want her to know how important she is to me! *smiles*)
8. TWILITE~random!
9. john WEEEEE!!! later im going to play my Wiiiiiiiii!!! accually i really wanted to play me Wii! *sob*
10. DANA CHAN! sorry your at last. i overloaded on names! KOMENDASAI!
11. i...
12. dunno...
13. who...
14. else...
15. this is the end....

well, thats all....BYies!

5 facts of an emo person (by my opinion)

okay so by my opinion, as a fellow emo member, i shall tell you 5 facts about emo people (im bored!)

WARNING: the contents may NOT be true!

okay so fact number 1!
in fact, emo people LIKE to be touched (as in hug and cuddling, NOTHING DIRTY). they are sometimes so left out that they just need a warm hug and a pat on the back and stuff like that. so go and hug an emo NOW!!!

fact number TOO!
most emo people try to hide their crying. they dont want other people to know so they find a certain place or corner or they just dig a hole and sob, cry , kill themselves or....they just BE EMO. it will normally be their room or a corner OF THE ROOM.

which brings us to fact number 3!
emo people like to hurt themselves and they also like to show their pain (as in cuts and bruises etc.) to others. it makes helps them express themselves to the world and by doing this they also hope that YOU understand what they feel inside.

@$#*~ means number 4!!!
emo people like BLACK and RED. RED simbolises (dont know how to spell! LOL! XD) blood (as said in fact number 3, they like to express themselves and this is a less painfull way of expressing to other people, mainly for the cowardly ones (like me))and black is for....well lets face it black is officially an emo colour!

and lastly, fact number 5!!!!!!
okay so this is kinda like a warning. emo people normally like to take people down with them. this means that when they are emo they have the force of habit to make you emo too. also, if you find an emo letter DONT READ IT unless its for you, then READ IT! cos normally emo letters are all death notes (i used to write death notes when i was young, SERIOSLY!) and they will make YOU jump off a clift!

so thats basic-ly all the emo facts you ought to know. i have more but....i dont want to make you sad. so i hope you dont spam me. and please let me know your opinions by leaving me a comment! i would love to knoe what you think of being a true emo and if your not emo, just leave a comment for the fun of it.

My boyfriend

Inside of my bedroom, all covered in blood, I shot my poor boyfriend with a 44 stud.
I went to his funeral, I went to his grave. Some people threw flowers, so I threw a grenade.
He got up and chased me; I thought he was dead, so you know what I did?
I took my bazooka and blew off his head.

THIS IS FOR NESA, MIA, FAZLUL AND ALL MY OTHER BESTIES!!!

Red roses are so cliché—and a yellow rose did not say enough

A white rose speaks of purity—perhaps I should have reached for the blue.

Though mysterious, that colored rose just did not seem to suit you.

I could have reached for the pink, but I held back.

Though your presense gives me happiness—the pink just seemed to lack.

I needed something more—something that spoke of us

That said “forever is our friendship” and you’re the one I’ll forever trust.

And that is when it dawned on me—the colored rose I’ll give

The color of all eternity. The one that forever lives.

You might think this is crazy—like logic never once touched my mind

Perhaps you’re right, but this is the only way to state our friendship is eternal

And that even in the darkest light—you’ll always shine.

So I present to you a black rose—yes, go ahead and gasp in fright

But let me explain this to you and perhaps you’ll see my logic may be right.

A black rose is symbolized as death—thanks to Hollywood these days

But isn’t death the only thing that is eternal? Forever you live in memories

And this is my way of saying—that even in the after life

You’ll always be a best friend to me.

Nothing in life nor in death could ever change that.

can you see the message im sending?

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that’s never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been.....

*there is a code, if you really care then you will be able to find it*

pictures of me....


pictures of you...


hanging on the wall so the world can see...

*dedicated to my best friend nesalinee and her man*

picture love story...

my picture love story.sometimes words cannot express how i feel.



i love you so much. oh how i wished you would feel the same...so even if it hurts so much. i hold it in. so deep in that nobody can reach it but you.


i've been holding it in for ever. your love hurts. im just acting like a tough girl by keeping a straight face and i keep lying to myself. again and again.


i feel like breaking down on my knees and begging. begging for you to love me. begging for something that will never come. begging for a lie.


But no matter what i cant lie. not to that face. not to those innocent eyes that lie deep into my soul without even blinking. into that angel face that hides lies from beneath the grave and below. i cant lie for i am cursed. with a curse no one can cure. for i am in love with you.

hinata and neji!!!! PUNK! YOU ROCK, NEJI!!!!!! XD

if you hate me then why pretend love?

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

cupcake

emo people love too...

mirror...

behind the mask...

We masquerade around this floor
But no one seems to see what we are,
These masks they hide it all forgetting who we were

So dear just drop the act tonight I'll lose my mask if you'll lose yours, let us see what we could be for the very first time

Oh my lady may I have this dance tonight
Oh my lady may I have your hand tonight
We beat our shadows into the floor I'm all in tonight I'm all in
You beat your heart into mine I'm all yours tonight I'm all yours

So dear just drop the act tonight
I'll lose my mask if you lose yours,
Just drop your heart to the floor and make this last

May I have this dance just take me for what it's worth
Because this is all I have
May I have your hand just take mine for what I'm worth
Because you are all I am

K-ON!

CHEAT

you have always been CHEATING on me, havent you?

BFF means forever...

everyone needs a best friend.
im sooo happy i have one true one.
thank you...

in the shadows...

No sleep
No sleep until I am done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes
I feel I going down and so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

In the shadows

In the shadows

my life is like death....

I admire, Ah, that howling moon high up in the deep, mauve-colored night
Their souls that I smell in the smashed and scattered debris, So, are shouting

Two destinies live in darkness
When my hand and my arm
resonate with each other, now shake up! shake up!

The soul style of a wavelength that accelerates in macro
To protect you to the end I can become strong
Peace and justice are Death of (the) rule
The red spray is a noble blade
When a bond is born, wishes will be granted; fight out! fight out!

I ruffle my robe in the wind and tonight, I’m dashing again, Ah, I won’t lose
C’mon, let’s go without waiting; when I dance in midair it’s Exciting, So, I feel it

Two destinies that aspire together
If your eyes and your eyes
Could believe in each other, shake up! shake up!

An invincible cool scythe leaps to the mast
Here courage will awaken
The goddess of victory is death or life
A blade where a black rush of blood boils
When a bond is born, it connects to sympathy, fight out! fight out!

Two destinies that share tears
When my hand and my arm
Turn into dreams, now shake up! shake up!

The soul style of a wavelength that accelerates in macro
To protect you to the end I can become strong
Peace and justice are Death of (the) rule
The red spray is a noble blade
When a bond is born, wishes will be granted; fight out! fight out!

destiny is what it is....

a meaning...

Should you expect to see something that you hadn't seen
In somebody you'd known since you were sixteen;
if love is a bolt from the blue, then what is that bolt but a glorified screw?
and that doesn't hold nothing together
Far from these nonsense bars and their nowhere music it's making me sick
And I know it's making you sick
There's nothing there, it's like eating air
It's like drinking gin with nothing else in
That doesn't hold me together.

But for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

Now I know you like your boys to take their medicine
From the bowl with a silver spoon
Run away with the dish and scare the fish by the silvery light of the moon
Who were taught from the womb to believe to the tune
In as far as their bleeding eyes see
Is a pleasure pen, meant for them, built for and rent for them
Not for the likes of me
Not for the like of you and me

And for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

Oh but the green-eyed harpy of the songland
She takes into hers my hand
She says, "Boy I know you're lying
Oh but then, so am I,"
And to that I said "Oh well."

They put me in a cage full of lions, I learned to speak lion
In fact I know the language well
I picked it up while I was versing myself in the languages they speak in hell
That night, the silence gave birth to a baby
They took it away to her silent dismay
And they raised it to be lady
Now she can't keep her mouth shut

But for one crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
And I sailed around all those bumps in the night to your beacon in the gloom
I thought I had found my golden September in the middle of that purple June
But one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin

One crowded hour, you were the only one in the room
Well I played a few songs for those bumps in the night
In fact I played this very tune
You said, "What is this six-stringed instrument but an adolescent doom?"
And one crowded hour would lead to my wreck and ruin.

and now your probally wondering what this song means....
well, think. doesnt this remind you of something....
does it?
think.
think really hard.

one hour can change everything...

TAGGIES!

okay so here it is:
001. Real Name: Chan Sook Cheng
002. Nickname(s):........dont ask
004. Horoscope: Sagittarius
005. Gender: its a girl!
006. Elementary: .....forgot! LOL! im such a retard!
007. Primary School: SKSBU
008. Secondary School: SMK SBU
009. College: dunno...
010. Hair Color: black-ish brown thats goin to die
011. Hair Length: short but long enough to tie
012. Loud or Quiet: depends on who im talking to
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Phone
015. Health Freak: ...maybe
016. Drink or Smoke: go figure
017. Do you have a crush on someone: .....maybe
018. Eat or Drink: BOTH! SH'YEAH!
019. Piercings: none
020. Tattoos: none. DONT STAIN THE BODY GOD GAVE YOU!
021. Social or Anti-Social: SOCIAL!
022. Righty or lefty: Righty
023. First piercing: never
024. First relationship: 17 january 2009
025. First Best Friend: i think its aina
026. First Award: i receive all 3 awards at the same time at elementery school so i dunno
027. First Kiss: i aint tellin
028. First Pet: fish
029. First Big Vacation: AUSTRALIA!
030. First Love at first sight: got! but not gonna tell!
031. First Big Birthday: all my birthdays suck
032. First Surgery: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
033. First sport you joined: i think its ping pong. i joined it so i dont have to tukar baju! LOL!
034. Orange or Apple juice: I TTLY LOVE BOTH!
035. Rock or Rap: BOTH!
036. Country or Screamo: country!
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: what the?
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: Britney Spears!!!!
039. Night or Day: BOTH!
040. Sun or Moon: moon. i cant see the sun!
041. TV or Internet: a little of both!
042. Playstation or XboX: playstation!
043. Kiss or hug: BOTH!
044. Iguana or turtle: ahhh......i cant hurt a turtle (its against my grandfather's tradition LOOONG STORY) and iguanas are WEIRD so....none? can i pick that?
045. Spider or bee: what the...
046. Fall or spring: FALL! its windy during fall!
047. Limewire or iTunes: getting lazy!
048. Soccer or baseball: soccer. i got my right eye hurt thanks to baseball!
049. Eating: EVERYTHING IN ITS WAY!
050. Drinking: what i can drink i drink.

i will turn crazy if i accually did all 100. i am TOOO lazy! anyway im tagging 10 ppl and the "lucky" people are....
1. nesalinee (rmb the deal, kay?)
2. fazlul (ask nesa about the deal before doing this tag, kay?)
3. adrian (halo)
4. jack (dont be emo bout cha bunny kay?)
5. charmiane hee (*smiles*)
6. diorene (KKS! ORAL! ITS KILLING ME!!!!)
7. alex (the lion! RAWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
8. my sista!
9. cheah (YAY)
10. johnathan? (or jenny as i prefer)

hahas^^

to all haters...

TO ALL HATERS!
THIS IS A SHOUT OUT FOR YOU!
(foul language will be present in this content/post. viewer discretion is advised.)

you know exactly who you are,
i keep it all real and thats a promise,
i may be a b*tch but at least im honest,
when you see me around you stop and you stare,
keep your eye on me all you want cos i aint scared,
i have my own life to be concerned about,
i dont have time to worry about yours,
im not trying to please you or make you smile,
grow up and live your own damn life,
and stop worrying so much about mine,
just shut your hatin ass up!
and keep my name out of you mouth,
shit the haters, fakers and the wannabe friends,
thanks for making me the center of your world,
ASS-ES!

*i have changed a few words to make this more apporiate for you. but haters, I MEANT EVERYWORD I WROTE!*

this post is for;
- nesalinee (just bcos 2 idiots dont like you doesnt mean anything. I LIKE YOU! and YOUR A GREAT FRIEND so its THEIR loss! THEY are IDIOTS)
- alex (good luck with haters)
- adrian (hope your womanizer thingy doesnt go out of hand)
- vannessa (i dont know you that well but i heard you have a lot of haters. its okay. WHO CARES ABOUT THEM ANYWAY!)
- myself (i hate myself but i ran out of things to say so....)

....who have suffered from the hater disease.
GOD BLESS THEM!

behind blue eyes....

no one knows what its like,

to be the bad man,

to be the sad man,

behind blue eyes,

and no one knows what its like to be hated,

to be fated,

to telling only lies....

so wrong...

people lie and people cheat,
people hate and people hurt,
but i thought you were something special,
something different,
something new,
something to help me...,
but...,
you are the same,
you lie and you cheat,
you hate and you hurt,
me....

leave out the anime in the word "to anime haters"

OMG! LOL!